The View From Here

I am more excited about 2020 than any other year of the Traction eRag!  

We have been slowly and carefully growing our schedule of training and event dates. Our programs have been designed around what we collectively believe off-road riders would find interesting, challenging and fun. Our ideas get extensively tested. Sometimes they make it into the curriculum while others get buried out back. Names like Shark Tank, GrizzBait, and the Gravity Challenge are the result of perpetual refinement by a misguided gang of likeminded eRag Reprobates. 

I have the privilege of sharing this journey with the eRag gang, a family who, knowingly or unknowingly, protect each other from a life that lacks meaning. Although some find it difficult to associate riding dirt bikes with meaning, especially given mainstream society’s harsh judgment of what it is to be a responsible adult. What we attempt to achieve transcends motorcycles. Motorcycles are simply the medium. We deeply recognize that the story arc of a trail ride closely mimics life – unpredictable and sometimes difficult, it can be a lot of fun but often scary. If you ride off-road motorcycles long enough you begin to understand that they inadvertently prepare you for hardships to come.

Our entire gang has ridden off-road motorcycles extensively and because of this, or at least in part, the eRag gang possesses strong character. Descriptors require words like integrity, determination and perseverance. Their collective work ethic is indisputable. Every one of them carries their burden responsibly whether it is caring for elderly parents, difficult work situations, raising children, health issues, and aging. All while remaining upbeat about the future – no small feat. I like to muse that riding off-road motorcycles helps.

I am proud to be surrounded by this group and if you have, or ever get to, attend our events you may learn the secret we all possess. Riding off-road motorcycles is not about gadgets, horsepower and engineering. If you pay attention, riding off-road is about what matters most – life itself.

Somebody wrote us?

CABO LOVE

Hi Hosers, I love the way this article started.

I too reacted this way when my wife mentioned we were going to Jamaica and then this past summer when we went to Cancun. After reading the story I wish I would have looked into Cabo with more tenacity. Whenever my wife talks about a vacation spot I immediately start thinking "how can I turn this into some sort of off-road adventure?". With the trips to Jamaica and Cancun I even considered going on an ATV excursion (excuse me, I think I just threw up in my mouth). It is reassuring to know that I'm not the only guy who has knobbies on the brain when you hear of a new vacation spot.

I did check out the website bajaride.com and while there I encountered a popup from Fab asking if he could help. I kindly replied back saying just looking at the site and that I had gotten the website info from Traction eRag. He starting yelling profanities at me that instant...oh wait, that's what I expected him to do once I mentioned your magazine [ED: Der!?]. I shared the story with my 16 year old son and he liked the idea [ED: Der!?] of finding an excursion like this on our next family trip. Planning that next off-road adventure,

-Carl

ED: Knowingly or unknowingly you have uncovered the key to heaven on earth. Use this child to your advantage. Think of him as a long, peach fuzzed lever needed to pry open your crate of dreams. Use this tool properly and you will receive what you desire. And, believe me, everyone wins. Good luck my brother.

Fantastic article by Egle Gerulaityte on falling off the bike, funny, true and just good reading!

-David R

Nicely categorized Egle. I think some of us actually experience a fourth tier of ‘crunch’ from which we may not get up for some time, but you’re right to have remained silent on those. Best not talked about really. Good article.

-Shaun O’R

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ED: Eglė's attitude fits right in. Failure is the only path to success. We practice failure regularly.

ALRIGHT MAGGOTS

Dallas et.al., How can rock bottom get any lower you might ask? Just read this latest issue. Calling it a Festering heap of maggot toe jam would be too kind. Hell fellers, even though you’re Canadians, have a little pride.

-Marc from Montreal

PS: Laid up with triple ligament surgery after a second failed attempt at the Longest Day Rally. I’ll never learn. . .

HEY HEY HEY. We're usually ok with name calling but when you suggested toe jam you crossed the line. Toe jam isn't fermented nearly enough for our livers. Get it straight, ya gimp.

Kilometre 97

As I rounded a sweeping curve on a quiet gravel track etched into a rocky mountainside, I stared at my trip meter. Kilometer 95 … 95.6 … 96. I took a deep breath. On the Kilometer 97 column in my roadbook, there was a tiny checkered flag. I didn’t need to learn ASO-approved French to know what it meant: a symbol for the rally finish line – a minuscule black and white flag of eternal glory. One more click and I’d cross the Hellas Rally Raid finish. Me, on my tatty old DR650. 

It almost felt like time stood still for a moment as I rolled towards Kilometer 97. Everything suddenly became sharper, brighter, more vivid somehow. I could hear water rushing through a rocky gorge below, and the roar of my engine reverberated in a cheerful echo across the valley. The smell of hot dust, petrol and pine trees hit my nostrils. The sun, floating in an impossibly blue sky, beat down on the lonely track and the perfectly still mountains around me. 

The trip meter read 96.6. 

In my wildest dreams, I would have never imagined entering a seven-day cross-country rally race with hundreds of motorcycles, quads, and SSVs. Hellas Rally Raid in Greece is the largest amateur rally in Europe, and if someone had told me a few years ago that I’d be starting at Hellas, I would have laughed. 

I mean, I’ve been at this adventure riding business for a while now, but I mostly just potter around places. (Hell, it took me three years just to get from Arizona to Chile. Granted, I’d get off the road here and there, and Lucy, my faithful steed, endured more crashes, burnt clutches and clumsiness than I care to admit.) My skills and speed, in comparison to “real” rally riders, are akin to those of a bewildered, beached penguin in the midst of a flock of elegant swallows. 

Still, a weird set of circumstances, a little bit of luck and new tires led me to Hellas, and I had survived all seven days of the rally madness.

Now was the defining moment of it all. My front tire was about to cross a magical line that would transform me from a rally hopeful to a rally finisher. I braced for… well, for something. There would be the rally staff at the finish line. And the photographers, too, I guessed, and people would wave, or even say “congratulations.”

But as I rounded the last corner and the trip meter clicked 97, I realized there was nobody there.

I’d been so slow that the rider ahead of me had crossed the finish line over an hour before, so everyone had just packed up and left.

I stopped in the middle of the track, listening to the water in the gorge. I could feel the heat blasting off my tired, grimy, mud-splattered Lucy. A tiny rock bounced off the wheel rim.

If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it, does it make a sound?

How to Piss Off Your Neighbours

Issue 47 offered some great tips for building a trail in Cuttin’ & Ridin’. If you own several acres and read questionable dirt-bike content, chances are you have also considered building a track in your yard. Before building your own mini-Erzberg, there are a few things you should consider:

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Line of sight: Make sure any neighbors have a good view of as many features of your track as possible. If you have several acres, chances are they’re scenic. What better way to improve the scenery than several berms, stacked log obstacles, or better yet, mud pits. Cutting trees and removing vegetation can aid the natural formation of a mud pit and increase resale value, should you choose to upgrade to a different training compound later on.

Time of day: Most people work regular hours, so you’ll need to work early in the morning or late at night for them to be able to observe. This is especially true if you plan to use machinery like chainsaws, tractors, etc.

Time of day: See above. Time of day is even more important when it comes to riding. You’re more likely to have an audience once your neighbors get home from their jobs. Some studies have also shown that the exhaust note from internal combustion engines can be a suitable replacement for alarm clocks, so don’t overlook the “pre-dawn rip.”

Sky’s the limit: Your bike has a rev limiter for a reason. Make sure you bounce the engine off the rev limiter as often as possible. This helps announce to the neighborhood that you are riding, in case they want to come spectate.

Saving lives: Conventional Gumby wisdom has held that while 2-strokes seem louder for the rider, they may be quieter for those in the distance. This is easily remedied by an aftermarket race pipe, or better yet …

Bike mods: A simple screwdriver up the tailpipe can often increase flow (consult a trusted physician). If not, further backyard engineering may be required. Typically, baffles can be removed or modified with a few screws or bolts. An added bonus is that removing the baffle often removes the spark arrestor as well, meaning that your after-ride campfire will already be blazing by the time you’re ready to hang up your helmet for the night.

Mixin’ gas: If you ride a 2-stroke engine, richen up your premix ratio. The sight and smell of 2-stroke exhaust help season the freshly exposed soil on your new track. If you ride a 4-stroke, you can add a bit of premix straight to the tank for similar effect.

Three’s a crowd: Just you riding on your track is all well and good, but it will get burned in faster if you invite the entire gang over. Additional riders increase the wear on the track, which in this case helps establish the trail. If possible, consider hosting an Enduro or Hare Scramble at your state-of-the-art facility.

Ideally, you’ll be able to clean off your bike with a pressure washer at a higher elevation than your neighbors. This way, any muddy, oily runoff will make its way into your neighbors’ yards and flower gardens. Don’t fret if you don’t have the uphill advantage. Remember, everyone is downstream from someone. Even if you can’t impact the groundwater quality of the immediately adjacent properties, someone else will surely enjoy the fruits of your labor.

Lizard Brain Debut

I met my lizard brain at an eRag clinic in May 2019.  It was mid-afternoon and I was getting tired.  We were practicing the log punch technique and I was on my fourth attempt.  I am a cautious rider, and though I was crossing the log well, I wasn’t executing the technique.

I pulled up in the line up of riders and was coached to “be aggressive” on this attempt.  I thought, “why not?”  It’s my last attempt, there are all of those friendly spotters there to save me, and I have to step it up to grow, right?

I approached the log with my version of aggression.  Good/aggressive body position, determined eyes, but freaking out/shitting my pants on the inside.  However, I committed and punched the log harder than I ever had.

The next thing I know, I am flying down the field, looking at sky.  WTF???  White noise fills my ears.  Then it dawns on me grimly.  I am in an out-of-control wheelie racing through the field.

And. There. Is. Nothing. I. Am. Doing. About. It. 

My lizard brain has assumed control of the bike.  No rear brake.  No clutch.  Just shamelessly hanging on while my lizard brain does what it does best – fuck everything up.  In front of everybody.

“Lizard brain” is a term made famous by Barry Morris and refers to our instinctive responses in emergency situations.  There is no one part of the brain that is actually representative of the term “lizard brain” as this response is a complex mixture of instinct, “fight or flight” and fear centers.  Sometimes these responses save our life.  Sometimes these responses result in catastrophic public failure (refer to exhibit A in the field above).  Examples include: dabbing your foot while off-balance or grabbing a handful of front brake when barreling down a hill.

Eventually, after what felt like an eternity, my weight starting shifting to the right, causing the bike to tip to the right.  The front tire finally touched down and I was kicked off the bike and to crash hard on to my right side.

I laid there, desperately willing my brain to catch up with current events.  Lizard brain slinked off behind the rocks, mildly ashamed.  Ok, no major injuries.  No exploding pain.  Just disbelief and the early waves of embarrassment.  

Though I was planning on lying there for a while, suddenly, the air was filled with the thundering sound of many running footsteps.  All of my spotters were upon me: lifting my bike up, gingerly helping me to my feet, and best of all, heaping on the praise for my perfectly executed log-punch technique and subsequent celebration wheelie.  

I laughed nervously and admitted it wasn’t on purpose.  They didn’t believe me.  It was that good.  

In the days since the spectacular debut of my lizard brain, I have contemplated the events that unfolded that fateful afternoon.  I am torn about risk taking.  I want to grow as a rider, but my thus far, my attempts at “being aggressive” have been extremely unsuccessful (to say the least).  Part of me thinks I should hang my boots up (I am clearly a menace to society).  Those around me tell me this is part of the growth process.  Really??  Can you really shove your lizard brain out of the way and perfectly execute the log punch technique with a marshmallow landing despite all instincts to the contrary? (Sigh. Shrug.) I will think about my next move after I ice my wrist.

No FX - Punk in Drublic with an Electric Dirtbike

Some of the benefits of having an electric motorcycle are reduced maintenance, tons of torque and about as much noise at full throttle as a cordless drill. I have found the last of these to be my favorite. 

Back when my bike was fairly new and I hadn't taken it off-road much, I decided to take it to the park across the street. The park had a sweet staircase, storm drains, tight single track through trees and a baseball diamond with a nice pitcher's mound that you could get some air off of, if you hit it with enough speed. Now, I would never do anything to put other people in danger, so I made sure no one was around and proceeded to mess around a little bit. 

I got the idea in my head to try to hit the pitcher's mound, hit the brakes and drift behind the backstop. Everything went fine until the drifting part. I expected the back tire to stay at a reasonable speed, but instead it spooled up like a bat outta hell. I quickly found myself on my back, my lungs devoid of air, with dust swirling above me and my bike on its side. 

What I had just discovered about the electric bike was that, as soon as the rear tire breaks loose, it wants to spin as fast is it can. With no gears and a top speed of 140 km/h, it is definitely something that requires getting used to. 

Lying on the ground, I expected people off in the distance to come to my aid, because surely they had heard the whole debacle. Instead, nothing. No one had noticed. Not the people in the distance, not even the ducks watching and probably laughing at me a stone's throw away. 

At first I was pissed because I had dropped my almost-new bike and winded myself to boot. But amidst the silence, once I was able to breathe, all I could do was laugh. Never before have I wiped out and had everything carry on like nothing happened. It was like I wasn't even there. After wiping the tears of laughter from my eyes, I picked up my bike, got the chunks of dirt out of it, gave my head a good shake, and continued to play around some more before making my way home. 

There have been more off-road antics with the bike since then, but that was the first time it caught me off guard. I can only imagine how absurd the whole thing would have looked to someone if they had seen me wipeout, make a bunch of weird noises on my back, then laugh my ass off and go home. Nevertheless, I really appreciate being able to take my motorcycle out and hit a couple of doubles without any of the neighbors coming out to yell and shake sticks at me.

Only the Good Diaper Young

Investing in your skills must be a good thing. Practice makes perfect they say. Repetition certainly has paid off when it comes to my ability to be delusional. Just ask my lovers Charlize Theron and Scarlett Johansson, who will no doubt agree. 

But so many people overcomplicate things when it comes to improving their riding. Sure there are no end of expensive training courses, DVDs or instructional tomes you can buy, but if you really want something that works, then nothing beats the traditional method. It’s simple, cost-effective and foolproof. 

Wear an adult diaper. 

That’s right, diapers aren’t just for incontinence and BMW riders. And with advances in modern technology, they are practical enough to be worn all day. They also add a shapely bulge in all the wrong areas.

But trust me, if you want to analyse your riding, nothing beats a visual inspection of your diaper at the end of a day’s ride. It’s sort of like inspecting spark plugs really. A colour-guide, if you will. At its most basic level, it goes something like this:

• Too dark and/or fouled means you scared yourself. Slow down, you idiot. It’s your bike that is supposed to throw a rooster tail, not you.

• Small, light brown or tan coloured deposits means you have found your limit. Either that or some wildlife/lowlife jumped out in front of you.

• A small, yellowish patch means you have pushed yourself but still have kept a bit in reserve. Maybe have a bit more of a crack next time, so to speak.

• A pristine diaper means you are a wuss or you think you are much better than you really are. Get back out there and have another go. Don’t come back until that diaper is damp.

For those of us who have practiced the diaper technique for some time, there is some advanced data-analysis that can also be insightful. For example, a diaper completely soaked yellow means you were having such a good time that you really didn’t want to get off the bike. Incidentally, any aroma of ‘Tomcat’ means that the night before you had asparagus. Or a Californian sauvignon blanc.

Any other substances found in your diaper should be contemplated carefully. Anything green and you may want to get yourself some penicillin. Oh, in case you are wondering, a completely brown diaper means you shouldn’t have had those 12 beers, six whiskeys and a second helping of Bombay Barry’s Vindaloo Surprise the night before riding.  

The secret to improving your riding is of course to continually analyse your diaper ‘palette’ and make changes to your technique accordingly. Just like checking your spark plugs, you may have to get your hands dirty, but it is worth it. After using the diaper technique, I am riding so fast these days that my mates are too embarrassed to ride with me. Losers. 

Oh, and one last tip, don’t throw out used diapers – they make excellent packing for your exhaust! 

Gadgety Items - Helmet Strap Failure

The trusty helmet is usually seen as our most important piece of protective gear, for good reason! While head injuries aren't that common, the potential for death or lifelong disability ensures that our helmets are subject to strict standards. 

So imagine our surprise when one of our riders had the strap suddenly pull off a fairly expensive and barely three year old Suomy Mr Jump helmet due to a completely corroded bracket. 

A bit of googling turned up other cases of straps failing on Suomy helmets. And Suomy wasn't alone. We also found several cases of corroded brackets for Airoh, another highly regarded Italian helmet manufacturer. In fact, legendary Enduro  rider David Knight refused to wear his Airoh-sponsored helmets after the straps failed on two within a year due to rust. 

After all of our riders checked their helmets, one of them discovered that his 13-month-old Leatt helmet had a heavily corroded strap bracket and that the Leatt distributor rejected his warranty claim. We have also received reports of corroded brackets (and strap failure in some cases) on Kali, ONeal, Bell, Fox, Acerbis and Just1 helmets too

So, we put the eRag reprobates on the case.  An Airoh distributor advised that a change to proper stainless-steel brackets had occurred in recent years. A similar claim was made by a Suomy dealer. We looked for confirmation by sending several questions to Airoh, Suomy and Leatt head offices, including:

What was the original metal used for earlier helmets? And why did this rust so quickly in certain cases?

Was a recall issued, or any public advisory notice published? If not, why not?

When was the change to quality stainless steel brackets made, and which specific grade is now used?

Are corroded brackets only covered during the warranty period? Or for the lifetime of the helmet?

Unfortunately Airoh declined to answer so we can't confirm that they now use stainless steel brackets. Suomy did reply and stated that they used aluminum between 2013 and November 2014. Three failures were reported and replaced in the USA (worldwide figures unknown) and Suomy have used 303 stainless steel since then. 

Leatt’s initial response was remarkable.  Despite the rust starting well within the relevant period, they refused the warranty claim as they believe the bracket was exposed to sweat or salt water. Hard to imagine someone sweating inside a helmet. Not.  Their advice was to clean it up and apply a rustproof coating, a strange suggestion given you should not have chemicals anywhere near the expanded polystyrene liner of your helmet!

We pursued Leatt further and to their credit received a more considered response.  They acknowledged their earlier response was flawed and confirmed they used a zinc-coating or similar on all their helmets as ‘all of our external and internal testing showed good resistance against rust formation’.   Leatt also advised they are currently doing further salt-spray tests to check for rust formation, as well as investigating possible alternative materials. Leatt also said they will honor rust claims that occur both within and outside the warranty period. 

To be fair, we must point out that the number of strap failures is very low for Suomy and Airoh, and Leatt maintain they have only had two rust related claims worldwide.

But when helmets are such an important (and expensive) part of our protective gear, this is an important issue. So what’s the take home message? Check your damn helmet, check it regularly, no matter what brand it is, or how much you paid for it! 

The Finish Line

Matchy matchy?